For the first time...

Do you ever read something that you know you've read/heard a million times, and it seems like it's happening for the first time? That's never really happened to me with the Bible, since I've grown up in church and went to Bible college and all that stuff. But yesterday was different.

I was supposed to teach from Esther 4 in kid's church yesterday, so I spent a lot of time yesterday afternoon [being a procrastinator and] prepping for my lesson. I read through chapters 1-3 to get a better feel for it, since I have heard it so much, and I wanted to make sure I got all the details right.

I swear, it was like the first time reading it.

The pretty standard things that people will preach out of Esther is 1)Esther was a queen who managed to save all the Jews, and 2) it took courage for this woman to go to her husband the King and reveal that not only did she want the lives of all the Jews, but hers as well since she was a Jew.

My biggest revelation?

God works out the craziest things to save lives. Ester 4:14 (NIrV) says "...perhaps you became a queen for such a time as this." I swear I just sat there stunned for a few minutes. Now, as I told the kids, Esther wasn't really anyone pre-Queen. She was a beautiful girl who'd lost both parents and had been raised by her cousin Mordecai. She had a pleasant demeanor and gentle spirit, and because of these things plus her beauty, the King found favor in her.

She was created beautiful so a King would fall in love with her so she could one day save a nation.

That just struck me in such a huge, thunderous kind of way. I told the kids last night that they were all created to be who they are "for such a time as this." There are things they can do that I'll never be able to do. There are things I can do that they'll never be able to do. I told them that I firmly believe with everything in me that they can change the world if they just have the courage. Yes, we don't have a monarchy so it's very likely that none of them will ever be in that kind of situation, but... We serve a crazy awesome God. We serve an extremely creative God who works out the strangest circumstances for His glory.

Esther had so much courage... When she went to see her husband, she knew there was a chance she could be killed unless he waved the royal scepter at her. Back in the day it was actually illegal to just go see the king without being summoned, so she had a lot at stake. And because of her beauty and her demeanor, the King not only waved the scepter at her but also offered her up to 1/2 of his kingdom if it's what she wanted.

I was created "for such a time as this." Now, I don't know when exactly that sentiment will be true, but it IS going to be true. I've got a special purpose in my life, as do you, whether you accept it or not.

Cheers,
A Redhead

Abba help me to have courage like Esther. Help me to realize that what I see as mediocre can be used for your glory.

Esther 4:14 (NIRV)
"Who knows? It's possible that you became queen for a time just like this."

Semi-Charmed Kind of Life

Meet my pooch, Storm. He's pretty much the coolest quadruped I know.
Today I was at lunch with a dear friend of mine and she admitted that she "stalked" me and read back through my blog. My heart rate sped up a bit as I pondered what I'd blogged about over the last couple of years. That stopped almost as quickly as it started, because really, she already knew most if not all of those things already anyway. =)

I like that.

I like that God has managed to blow my puny little brain matter yet again by giving me such awesome friends. If you've a) kept up with this blog as I've done it over the years, or b) gone back through and read it, then you know that I fairly well crave people. That was one of my biggest fears of moving back home to VA, was not having friends. Because really, at the time, I had very few friends here (not that they weren't amazing!). I decided to peruse through my blog entries (hence why I'm still awake instead of being in bed an hour ago like I promised I would...) and as I read I felt so many emotions it was like a teen movie: sadness, excitement, happiness, anger, frustration, joy... The whole gang of emotions was there. Memories swelled up in me as I read back through entry after entry of hurt and hope, depression & God's faithfulness, words spoken to me and over me that I had since forgotten. . .

I'm still doing the Daniel Fast, and I've already lost 4 pounds since Tuesday! I feel like I might actually get a handle on my life this time. And by my life I mean my weight. But things seem different this time. I don't crave sugar right now. I don't crave fried food. I don't crave much of anything. If I'm hungry I eat fruit or veggies or organic Multigrain chips (SO good!). I've been finding great recipes online. God is doing something big with me and my health. It's unfortunate that I did the whole bulimia thing for so long- eating healthy and exercising regularly isn't as hard/awful as I used to think it was. Don't get me wrong; I would not trade my eating disorder & depressive years for anything. Sounds strange, but it's true. Think of the people that I can now relate to because of my experiences. There's no way I'd have been able to do something like that if I hadn't gone through what I've gone through.

I'm thankful for friends who push me to do things (Daniel fast & exercising). I'm thankful for friends who pour into my life and build me up with legitimate, fulfilling words of affirmation. I'm thankful for a family who loves me and supports me. I'm thankful for leadership opportunities in ministry even though they're not paid. I'm thankful for an amazing job that has allowed me to buy a car and pay off my credit card.

I'm thankful for God being a breathtakingly beautiful God.

I'm thankful beyond measure that my parents are attending Dave Ramsey's financial peace class at church. As in my unsaved father is going to church every week.

I'm thankful for a God that doesn't do things in a conventional manner.

"You are more, You are more, than my words will ever say.
You are Lord, You are Lord, all creation will proclaim.
You are here, You are here, in Your presence I'm made whole.
You are God, You are God, of all else I'm letting go."

Psalms 33:21 "In him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in his holy name."