Collaborative Weirdness

Arms above your head.

Feet apart.

Wiggle your butt.

Walk from side to side.

This sounds like the start of describing that girl in the club that no one wants to be around. What is it actually? A Zumba class. Basically just as awkward as the aforementioned girl. Group fitness classes are supposed to be a fun and different way to lose weight. If we're all honest with ourselves, it's trying to let the slutty ghetto version of ourselves come out of our Nilla Wafer shells*. I watch some of these instructors that seem to have the honest hips of Shakira, yet when I attempt it I feel more like the jiggly Jell-o of Santa. I start to shimmy and shake, yet my body doesn't stop when I actually do. Most of the moves warrant a glance at my closest girl friend that secretly says, "Please don't judge me for what you're about to see", or even better "I hope you look more awkward than I do". Don't get me wrong- I love group fitness classes. I love Zumba. I love how awkward I know I look yet how good I feel after the fact. But if we're honest, I feel like the below picture is my life:

Doing Zumba makes me feel confident and sexy- making the most of my ample curves. Doing Zumba also makes me realize I look something akin to Jim Carrey pretending to be a traumatized football player in a tutu.

In the ~2+ years I've been doing the "white girl booty pop", I've noticed there are always the same girls in every class. They transcend race, age, and social standing...

- "Look! Something Shiny!". These girls are on a beat of their own. They're often super nice, very friendly, and always look like they're having a great time. But their 2-step and weird hip swaying would lend to the theory they're not actually in the same class as you.

- "Grandma's bringin' sexy back". These women are usually a little older; they're in the 50-60 range. They're often on the slimmer side, and are doing Zumba to prove that they can, or because their younger daughter dragged them out saying it would be "fun".

- "I do Salsa. Nothing else.". That's really it. These women do slower salsa moves the whole times, and sometimes throw in some arm sways to follow along. They are typically actually Latina.

- "Awkward Irish girls trying to be Latina". This is me. And most of my friends. We're all middle-class white girls [mostly], yet we're convinced that somewhere deep in our bloodline runs a stream of Chula girl.

Zumba brings all women to the room and all boys to the yard (supposedly). Do I look awkward as all get out listening to loud Spanish rap music? Yes. Do I have a fantastic and sweaty time while burning calories? Double yes.



*I'm a super pale Irish girl, so I'm speaking for myself here.