There's a job possibility that a pastor friend of mine brought up, and to be quite honest it scares the snot out of me. It's not even in this country, but I'm sparing details for the moment because it very well might not happen. Suffice to say though, it would be amazing beyond words if this were to become my job. I have a fear though- what if I went just because it's been in my top 3 places to go before I die instead of it being where God wants me to go? What if I want to go just for my own selfish regard?
I was talking to PG yesterday about it and explaining my concern when he made a brilliant note... He asked if I knew the verse about God giving us the desires of our heart, and I said of course since I'm a 5th year bible student. He then said "well, what if God puts those desires within us so that we want them and he can give them to us? I think it's a circular concept." I had never thought about it like that before. I pretty much assume that since I want something I can't have it- that's just how my life goes. I'm not looking for pity, but that's just how my life goes. I wanted to be in Tucson for good and I can't, I want to fix myself financially yet I never can. . . It's just my life that I don't get what I want. I assumed that this job opportunity was no different.
Maybe it is different.
Abba, help me to make wise decisions. Help me to seek Your will regularly and listen to Your voice. Thank You God for your faithfulness. <3
"Give all your concerns to the Lord, and He will keep you going; He'll never allow a life that's lived right to fall." Psalm 55:22
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