Big surprise.

Things don't ever work out the way I want them to. In fact, sometimes I feel like I should stop planning things to happen because they don't come to fruition in the manner I would like them to. 

My original plan was to stay on campus this summer, work full-time, still help out at church, keep attending therapy, and live life merrily. However my credit card bill entered the picture.

Numbers started to crunch in front of my eyes.

And there it was:

Another failed plan.

Again, I don't know why I'm surprised. Things don't ever turn out the way I'd like them to in my life. Literally. I'm not saying it with regret, chagrin, or a want for sympathy- it's just how it is. I looked at some numbers, started adding some things up, and I realize it's fiscally more responsible for me to move home and work FT so I can save up money and pay off debts. 

I don't want to move back home.

Personally, I think it's ridiculous and stupid that a person spends 4-5 (or more) years living somewhere, developing relationships & a life, then said person has to up and leave. And if that person doesn't up and leave? They're scared to leave college. Granted that's a smidgen true in my case, but overall I just like it better here in PA than down in VA at this point. I have few friends at home (although the few I have are glorious) and I have a sense of independence living "on my own" (this is with full knowledge that I live in a little room, not a house, and still occasionally borrow $10 from the parents). I have a life here. I have roots here. I have a therapist for goodness sake! I haven't felt at home in VA in years. 

I want a huge bowl of ice cream, a big hug, and to cry for awhile. 

But that probably won't even work out.