If this didn't look shady I don't know what does...

There comes a time in every girl's life where she comes across a moment in her life where she has to make a decision: to do or don't. This morning I made the decision to "don't", and paid for it not 20 minutes ago. 


Without further ado, I thought you'd all appreciate the awkwardness I just experienced… 

I may or may not have just shaved the front of my legs + my knees in the bathroom here at work.

Yes, you read that right. I, Not Just a Redhead, being of sound body and mind [most days] just shaved my legs in my professional workplace's bathroom. While kind of ON the sink. But more to that later. 

I thought I could get away as I have light leg hair but I realized it was almost soft, which while it feels not too awful, you know that's code red to cut down some timber. How did I do that, you may ask. I have a cheapy disposable razor from the front desk I got months ago and there's always a huge bottle of lotion in the bathroom. I hid my razor in my bra (after realizing ex post facto I definitely have a skirt with pockets on… Fail #1) and walked into the bathroom. I hesitated when I got in there and pondered how best to accomplish my mission. I decided the least awkward thing to do would be to take the lotion + paper towels into the handicapped stall so I could shave with the lotion and wipe the razor off with paper towels and pray for a minimal amount of razor burn. I realized as I latched the stall door how awkward it would look if someone were to walk in and see me toting a huge bottle of lotion plus a wad of paper towels into the largest stall (Fail #2). 

Once in the stall I realized razors (especially cheap ones) can not be cleaned off with paper towels alone (Fail #3). Regardless of the amount of pleading you do with the rough paper. For a brief moment I looked at the toilet (as the seat was up and it was morning which would indicate it's been cleaned) but realized I wouldn't look at myself the same ever again if I were to go down that road. I resigned myself to the fact that if the Amazon was to be tamed, I'd have to do it at the sink with water. 

I waited another second and practically ran to the sink, again to avoid someone walking in and seeing me come out with the lotion + paper towels (which now had smears of lotion all over them from the razor). During my sprint I thought I heard someone walking towards the bathroom and for a brief moment time froze: a desperate look filled my face while I seemed stuck as a gazelle who spots a lion hungry for Chick-Fil-A on a Sunday. I exhaled loudly then chided myself for drawing any possible attention. Hastily I spattered water on the front of my leg, rubbed a little lotion in there to again attempt to avoid some razor burn, then shaved the front of my leg. It was not a family friendly moment for me in the ladies' room, but I prayed that 1) there were no security cameras, and 2) that no one would walk in to see my skirt up around my hips and my leg bleeding from the aforementioned razor. I did manage to cut my left leg twice in my haste, but I figured people get cut when you burn down a forest. 

I tucked my razor into my pocket because that's more normal than my bra and speed-walked back to my desk. The last thing I need is someone wondering why I spent 20 minutes in the bathroom (although I'm fairly certain this whole thing took 5 minutes).

And here I am writing my tale of awkward to you.

Happy Wednesday.

P.S.- My leg is still bleeding. (Fail #4)